Large Family Idiosyncrasies #3: The Buddy System

You remember my definition of a large family? Part of it involves parents having more children than they can hold onto at the same time. This is when the Buddy System needs to be implemented.

Some things about large families are rather humourous, but the Buddy System is not particularly so. It is, however, one of the most wonderful things about being part of a big family, from a sibling's point of view, and it looks like this:

Pretending I know what I'm doing, so I can help her.

Sitting still, because he fell asleep on me.

Feeding him--sometimes things he wants to eat, but often requiring more persuasion.

Getting stuck at a table with him.

Making gingerbread houses with her.

The buddy system links an older kid with a younger kid, and they become a special unit within the larger family team, as the older child keeps track of the younger one and takes care of them. 

Basically, we older kids are Jedi Masters, the younger ones were our Padawans, and as more children were born, they graduated to become Jedi Knights, so that we could take on new apprentices. 

If you know nothing about the Star Wars universe, that illustration is likely not helpful, but it is a very good explanation of how the buddy system works. 

Rebekah was technically my first buddy, but she was really too old to need much help (I will refrain from comparing her situation with that of Anakin Skywalker—this post already has too many Star Wars references), and as soon as Tabitha was born, I switched to taking care of her. Several years later, Sam became my last buddy. Andrew had Maxwell, and Margaret took care of David Clayton and then Marta. William, poor fellow, had two half-buddies—Andrew and Rebekah both. 

The Buddy Oath 

(which I just now made up, reflecting some of the experiences I've had over the years)

If you are my buddy...

1. I will hold your hand, despite your best efforts to extricate it.

2. I will sit next to you at the table, holding a fork in front of your mouth as long as is necessary.

3. I will wake up in the middle of the night and crawl under your bed to retrieve your blanket.

4. I will always check your seatbelt.

If I am your buddy... (the younger buddy's half)

5. I will learn your name before anyone else's.

6. I will pick your lap to sit on.

7. I will wake you up in the middle of the night when I lose my blanket.
8. I will grow up and want to do things on my own.

Even when the younger half of a buddy team has grown up, there is still a special bond between buddies, more than an ordinary sibling relationship. Beka, TJ, Sam-a-Rammers—Love you guys!

Large Family Idiosyncrasies: Counting Noses

Idiosyncrasy #2: The Seat Belt Check

"Seat belts!" Dad (or Mom) calls from the front of the van.

"Andrew's seat belt on."
"Sarah's seat belt on."
"Margaret's seat belt on."
"Rebekah's seat belt on."
"Maxwell's seat belt on."
"David's seat belt on."
"Tabitha's seat belt on."
"Marta's seat belt on."
"William's seat belt on."
"Samuel's seat belt on."

*slight pause*
"Is Samuel's seat belt really on?"
(quick visual check) "Yes!"
"Do the little boys have shoes on?"
"Yes."
-----
This is our ritual every time we go somewhere in our big white van. It's different now, of course, with the two top names dropped off, but I'm sure they still run through the rest of this procedure. (Right, Mom?) The "seat belt check", as we call it, accomplishes several objectives in a short time:

1. It ensures that everyone in the van is wearing their seat belt. (As you would guess.)

2. It also ensures that everyone who is supposed to be in the van is, indeed, in the van. If there is a gap in the list of names, the only proper way to proceed is after Mom or Dad have verified, "Maxwell is not here," which means that person has leave to be absent. Otherwise, we stop until we have located the missing person and they are buckled into their seat.

This second objective is just one part of a larger group of big family idiosyncrasies, which all revolve around not losing children. I may mention some of the other ways we accomplish this in future posts.

3. It functions as the last call for "going ashore", ie. friends and relations that are not supposed to be in the van have to get out.

4. It is an exercise in cooperation.

Siblings may not say their own seat belt is on until the person just before them has said it. Siblings may not poke other siblings to get them to say their seat belt is on faster, nor may they say someone else's seat belt for them, unless they have parental permission (as in the case of a buddy who is too young to talk.) You may not yell or whisper that your seat belt is on, but must say it clearly enough to be heard all the way in the front of the van. It is amazing how much these few, reasonable rules bring out sin nature that needs to be addressed.

5. It is useful to tack things on to. Remember the end of the ritual? What do the little boys' shoes have to do with seat belts? Well, I invented that bit a couple years ago, because during the summer they were constantly getting to church with no shoes on, despite our clear rules to the contrary. Because the seat belt check is always the same, and already in place, it was easier to remember to check the boys' shoes if I just tacked it on the end of that. Other inquiries could also be tacked onto the seat belt check as needed, such as "Do you all have coats on?" or "Does anyone need coffee?"

Another added benefit to this system is the fact that it always amuses guests who ride in our van. We had one Japanese exchange student who would take a video recording every time we went through it. Funny it may seem, but it is a very useful habit, that should be more widely adopted.

Christian Oneness

Eph. 4:1-6 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

In Sunday school this week, we were talking about Christian unity. The first three verses of Ephesians four explain how to have unity—being lowly, gentle, longsuffering, and loving—and in the next three verses Paul reminds us why we should have unity: because we ARE one, and God is one. 

Our "homework assignment" was to look up verses that back up each phrase of verses 4-6, and since I enjoyed the mini-study this turned into, I wanted to share it. I'll try not to add much commentary, lest this post should become unmanageable, but...no promises. I put some of the words in bold to highlight how they support the original phrase.

One body: This is a favorite idea of Paul's, so it was quite easy to think of many verses! I picked just a few:

Rom. 12:4-5 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.

1 Cor. 12:12-13 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.

1 Cor 12:20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body.

Col. 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

One Spirit: 

1 Cor 12:13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.

Eph. 2:18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.

Phil. 1:27 Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel,

One hope of our calling: 

For this one, I focused more on finding verses that explained what this "hope" of our calling is exactly. Our calling, of course, is become more like Christ and preach the gospel. But what are we "expecting and desiring to happen" that makes us follow this calling?

Tit. 1:2 in hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began,

Tit. 2:13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,

Col. 1:27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Eph. 1:18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,

One Lord:

Deut. 6:4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one!

1Cor. 8:6 yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live.

1Cor. 12:5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord.

One faith:

2Cor. 4:13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,” we also believe and therefore speak,

Phil. 1:27 Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel,

Gal. 3:7-8 Therefore know that only those who are of faith are sons of Abraham. And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel to Abraham beforehand, saying, “In you all the nations shall be blessed.”

Eph. 4:13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;

One baptism:

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

1Cor. 1:12-13 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?

1Cor. 12:13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.

Rom. 6:4-5 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection,

One God and Father of all:

Matt. 23:9 Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.

1Cor. 8:4 Therefore concerning the eating of things offered to idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is no other God but one.

Gal. 3:20 Now a mediator does not mediate for one only, but God is one.

1Tim. 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus,

James 2:19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!

• who is above all: 
• 1 Chron. 29:11 Yours, O LORD, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, And You are exalted as head over all.

• Psa 96:4 For the LORD is great and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods.

• Eph 1:20-22 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church,

• through all:
• Rom. 11:36 For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.

• and in you all:

• 2Cor. 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.

• Col. 1:27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

• 1Pet. 5:14 Greet one another with a kiss of love. ¶ Peace to you all who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

• 1John 4:13-15 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

Warbling Wednesday Week 3

Still not Wednesday. However.

This week's winner is: Say Something by Christina Aguilera

One of my ten-yearold students is learning this piano solo arrangement of the song:

Here is a live version in Seattle that has the words with it as well (by Pentatonix)

I have had this stuck in my head on and off for a few weeks now, actually, except I only knew the first line, which, as all of you know, gets old very quickly. The aforementioned student and I were working on it this week's lesson, though, so I now know the first verse or so. 

At this point I feel like I should make the disclaimer that this is the only current "love song" that I know. The rest I am aware of were popular when my Mom and Dad were in high school. My "with it" status is pretty much limited to the knowledge that Piano Guys exist, and the vague idea that ankle boots are in right now. I don't have any, but other people do and there seem to be a lot in shoe stores at the moment, so I am assuming that is the case.

Large Family Idiosyncrasies: Picture Proof

Large Family Idiosyncrasy #1: The Towel Mug Shot.

Has your family ever run out of bath towels? On a Saturday, with three or four people yet to shower by the next day, having all the towels in a damp, crumpled heap on the laundry room floor is a catastrophe of no small order.

How is such a state possible? Buy enough towels for the family! Take note when the supply of clean towels is running low, and make sure to start a load of laundry. This sounds like a simple solution, but let me assure you, large families are never simple.

For one thing, we have plenty of towels. In fact, they are divided between three locations, because we have too many to fit into one cupboard. An unfortunate side effect of this arrangement is that we are seldom aware of exactly how many clean towels are available for use. To further complicate the situation, children seem to have an idea that towels are sentient beings that will pick themselves up off the bathroom floor, drag themselves into the laundry room, wash, dry and fold themselves, and place themselves back in the cupboard. Numerous attempts to disabuse them of this notion have met with indifferent success.

After facing the frustration of an empty towel cupboard with increasing frequency as more children attained an age when they needed to shower every day, necessity drove us to a creative solution: towel mug shots.

We put all the towels in the house into one pile, had each child select one, and snapped a picture. This, then, was to be their towel for a week, during which time they were in charge of keeping it in a safe place, drying it out between uses in whatever fashion recommended itself to their ingenuity, and only at the end of an entire week was it to go into the wash.

The system has two features in particular to recommend it. First, it encourages multiple uses in between washings. My siblings had gotten into the habit of throwing their towels in the laundry after every shower, which placed our laundry routine under an unsustainable strain. Second, it allows the more finicky children to have confidence that their towel has not been smeared with toothpaste or used to mop puddles of water off the floor in their absence, since they can keep it in their room rather than the bathroom.

This method has worked fairly well for a few months now, though I do not know how much it is still enforced. The kids will have to be reminded of the rules every once in a while, of course. My towel, in case you were wondering, was green and blue striped—quite distinctive—and there is a mug shot of me with it, but since this is my post, I have suppressed the evidence.

Warbling Wednesday Week Two

Yes, I know it is Friday. Deepest apologies. I am currently in charge of the household, so I am rather busy.

This week I had a song I played with the choir on Sunday stuck in my head, namely, "When They Call My Name". Particularly the line "I'll be ready, I won't have to HESitate" in which I added a tremolo on the "HES" part. I also added seventh swung arpeggios at certain parts, sort of like this pianist does at the beginning, but I won't bore you with the details.

Warbling Wednesday Week One

I teach piano morning and afternoon on Wednesdays, and our church's choir practice is in the evening, and therefore I have lots of songs running around in my head on that particular day of the week. So I thought, not having many blog post ideas running around in my head through any day of the week really, I could start a weekly segment that consisted of posting the song most stuck in my head each week and helpfully get it stuck in yours. You are welcome in advance.

The winner for this week is:

Stars from Les Miserables. I have Rebekah to thank for this gift. She bought a dress that has stars on it, and every time I see it I sing the first word of the second verse "Stars...", and then have the rest of it stuck in my head for the rest of the day. For those who care, I stole from a piano arrangement of this song the 6/8 arpeggio left hand chordal pattern's beginning with the lowest notes descending in a diatonic scale (though the chords are not always in root inversion) as a springboard for my "Not all Those who Wander are Lost" piano composition this last summer. The chords numbers I use are not identical, and I carry the pattern for a full octave down and then back up with different chords again, but I took the germ of the idea from this arrangement.

This is, actually, one of my favorite non-sacred songs at the moment, but enough is as good as a feast, even if a spoonful of sugar (liking the song) helps the medicine (having it stuck in my head ALL. WEEK.) go down. Well, now I have a different song stuck in my head until Rebekah wears her dress again.

Large Family Idiosyncrasies: Part 1

Having grown up in a large family, I know we do some things differently than the general population. Our coping mechanisms are second nature to us, and we don't always step back to consider the fact that they may be odd or amusing to others. However, sometimes the strange looks and questions impress the fact upon us, and we laugh, and add a chapter to the imaginary book we've been writing, entitled "Large Family Idiosyncrasies".

It is a shame that this book will always be imaginary, since a study of our family would make fascinating reading, but I resolved that some of our more creative solutions to big family problems would not go entirely undocumented, and thus conceived this blog series. I have no idea how many posts it will be, since I'm likely to remember more idiosyncrasies as I write, but I'm looking forward to writing about this topic, and will try to get a post done every week or so.

Part One: Defining the terms

Before we jump into the actual list of idiosyncrasies in the following weeks, I wanted to explain two things:
1. What is a large family?
2. What do I mean by idiosyncrasy?

So, defining a "big" family is quite controversial, fraught with cultural and historical implications, not to mention the competition with that other family you know who has one more kid than your family, and flaunts their own "big family" status in your face, while belittling yours. (Or, of course, that family who has one fewer children than your own, whom you patronize with such terms as "cute", "little", "diminutive", or other synonyms for "small" with even more syllables.)*

*BOTH OF THESE ARE HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIOS, WHICH HAVE NO BEARING ON MY ACTUAL EXPERIENCES

Thankfully, however, I have a definition to proffer, grounded firmly on mathematical principles, which ought to lay the whole question to rest once and for all. I call it "The Counting Test", and it is easily illustrated with jellybeans:

Exhibit A

One can see at a glance that there are three jelly beans in this picture. There is no conscious counting, the eye takes it in instantaneously. Contrast that with the picture below:

Exhibit B

There are seven jelly beans here, but it is not so immediately obvious. One must move the eyes across the picture slowly, breaking the number of jelly beans into smaller sets and adding them together, or counting them individually. Any group of more than six objects must be counted this way, unless they are carefully laid out in a grid, so that they can be multiplied. Since people do not form themselves into grids, it follows that they must be counted. Indeed, children are even more difficult to count than jelly beans, since they tend to move around. 

Using this test, it is quite evident: Large Family = 7 or more people = 2 parents + 5 or more children

I doubt any further arguments could be made against such clear evidence, but I might just point out that this definition also fits nicely with the "Two Parents, Four Hands" test, which, briefly stated, postulates that since each parent has two hands, they can manage up to four children on their own, without any of them being in danger of getting run over, while as soon as the number reaches five they must enlist the help of older siblings, and will start eliciting comments from strangers, i.e. "You've got your hands full", "You must be Catholic", "Do you know the Duggars?", etc., etc.

With that question out of the way, we can turn to defining the term "idiosyncrasies"—restating the idea using words with less than six syllables. The New Oxford American Dictionary explains it thus: 

• a mode of behavior or way of thought peculiar to an individual
•  a distinctive or peculiar feature or characteristic of a place or thing

Which means we'll be talking about how big families behave, how they think, and what is distinctive about them. Be prepared to find us peculiar! 

A Study on George Berkeley's Theory of an Infinite Perceiver

There was a young man who said, "God
Must think it exceedingly odd
If he finds that this tree
Continues to be
When there's no one about in the Quad." 

REPLY:

Dear Sir:
Your astonishment's odd:
I am always about in the Quad.
And that's why the tree
Will continue to be,
Since observed by
Yours faithfully,
GOD.

-Ronald Knox

Your random limerick for the week. You're welcome. Despite appearances thus far, this is not only a post with a limerick. It is serving a double purpose as an announcement that I am going to post more often! Or at least try to do so. Now that I'm married, I think I'll have more time on my hands, and I've got an idea for a two-part series of posts, which I will start on next week. 

Until then,

Personality Tag ISTJ: The Duty Fulfiller/Inspector

RULES

1. (optional) Thank whoever nominated you/Post the above button

2. Find two favorite quotes for your personality type

3. Name three favorite movie characters that have your personality and one weakness in your personality that you're trying to change (or more if you really want to)

4. Tell us a little bit about your personality

5. Have you ever taken a personality test? If so, which one?

6. Tag three to five people 

I was tagged by my sister to explain my personality type, but first, Rebekah, a few things on the above image you said I had to post on my blog: 

1. Your blog name should be horizontally centered for the sake of continuity and aesthetic appeal. The title is horizontally centered, the background is a grid, and your blog URL is screaming "OUT OF PLACE!"

2. This font that you picked has letters that are all the wrong heights; the uppercase are smaller than the lower case. This demonstrates a shocking lack of respect for a rationally founded tradition. 

3. The title is encroaching horribly into the introvert spaces, while the smaller and less ostentatious URL is not blocking any of the extroverts letters. This is inconsiderate of the introvert half of the grid, who did not even want to be there.

I am an ISTJ. In other words, your typical detail and fact oriented boring but very responsible person. 

ISTJs are the most common personality among men, (twice as common among men than women), the most common personality over all in the British population, and are most the most common personality among police officers as men, and librarians as women. Other common careers for the ISTJ are management and accounting.

ISTJs are rarely the villain or hero in stories. Usually they are the pillars of society, either manifesting themselves as the Voice of Reason, or Ye Olde Fuddy-Duddy, depending on the perspective of the writer. Some examples of ISTJs in books and movies would be the following (I tried to use some of the movies Rebekah did, so you can have an idea how our personalities interact sometimes):

Master Shifu, from Kung Fu Panda

Javert, from Les Mis (though he may be extroverted, I am not sure on this one)

Bagheera, from The Jungle Book

Manny, from Ice Age

Aragorn, from the Lord of the Rings

Spock, from Star Trek

Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh

Puddleglum, from The Silver Chair

Wemmick's office character from Great Expectations (we do also have the side that goes home and sets off cannons, we just do not display it to the general public)

My two favorite historical ISTJs are George Washington and the Duke of Wellington (the English chap who beat Napoleon). 

The ISTJ personality's dominant trait is actually introverted sensing. This is a rather interesting fact, because everyone sees their secondary trait, extroverted thinking, the most strongly because it is extroverted, however, the sensing function is gathering vast amounts of data all the time and internalizing it into some sort of organized structure. Very little of this data actually comes out, and that which does has been pretty thoroughly verified and backed with tons of other data, when it comes out it presents the ISTJ as a very strongly thinking person, though, because the data is usually objective and organized logically. 

The thing to keep in mind with ISTJs in your life is that they are observant first, and thoughtful second. So, while they may not be acting really enthusiastic about what you are talking about, they may be just internalizing the information and comparing it against their structure of the world they have already created with other data. I will seem the most excited about that which I have already learned, understood, and processed completely, because my thinking can act extroverted right away with this, but I am always looking for new information to add, it just takes me a while to process any new information to the point where I am comfortable actually displaying a reaction. ISTJs are therefore not as stuck in their ways as they seem. They are only stuck in their ways when people spring things on them with no time to process before expecting a reaction. This is when the ISTJ falls back on the already known data and digs their heels in. They like information, especially practical and useful information from people who they consider to be reliable sources of information relevant to their job, hobbies, or other interests and character areas they want to see grow in their own life. 

Maintaining friends take a great deal of effort for the ISTJ. We are introverted, but also a personality hesitant to commit at all without committing fully in projects.  People are hard to commit to, though, because they do not have deadlines or a concrete grading system. Too much fuzzy area for the black and white ISTJ. The result is that they will develop acquaintances with many whom they can learn from, but only have a few close friends. Both acquaintances and friends are very intentionally hand-picked by the ISTJ. If an ISTJ frequently and voluntarily approaches and speaks to you, that alone is a compliment. They think you have something to offer them that they lack. 

This all sounds very calculating and selfish. Sometimes, though, the ISTJ does make a sacrificial relationship. They see someone who needs them, and they are willing to take the responsibility for making that person successful in their project or comfortable in their surroundings (they much prefer and are better at the former). Sometimes they regret that they have taken on this responsibility, though, and feel resentful and trapped in by this duty-compelled project or relationship, even though they made the initial decision to commit. 

Introverted feeling is the ISTJ's third function. In other words, my feelings are in fact weaker than my thinking, but not nearly as much as they seem, because the thinking function is extroverted and the feeling function is introverted. Feeling is therefore EXTREMELY difficult for ISTJs to display, and when we try to force ourselves to act in a feeling manner it can end up seeming ridiculous to us and everyone else (I speak this from experience). ISTJs' intuition is extroverted, but it is also our fourth, and worst function. I think the extroverted intuition is why I like to stereotype people, but I am also bad at it because my intuition is crushed by my far superior and more reliable vast amount of concrete sensory data. When I stereotype it is not directed by my gut, but my knowledge that a particular observed trait in a person usually lines up with other traits I have observed in many other similar people.

Acting on feeling or intuition seems very unstable to the fact-grounded ISTJs, but we realize other people sometimes need the illusion of spontaneity, so we prepare for it by studying different subjects to talk about, and have to be intentional about showing emotion, affection, and so forth. This does not mean we are not actually feeling it, we just feel no need to express it externally (for our own sake, anyway). I don't know if other ISTJs do this, but I actually plan how I will react to some things before time, if I know external display of feelings is important to the person I am interacting with, and I care about them enough to stretch myself out of my comfort zone to give them personal satisfaction. This is very draining, however (even more so because doing this intentionally makes me feel slightly "fake", which is a terrible thought to the truth driven ISTJ). If I am displaying the more negative emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety, those are genuine and unplanned and I'm probably beating myself up for losing control. In fact I probably have a much higher threshold for displaying these than those who are emotionally impulsive, because that means the feelings were strong enough to get past all of my usual barriers of logic, self control, and the desire to uphold order and not be a nuisance. I never plan to display something that would distress someone else especially when its me centric.

The dry sense of humor is actually a large part of the ISTJs personality that many people do not recognize and/or appreciate. For one thing, most of our snarky comments we keep to ourselves, and for another thing, many times people do not even realize that we are joking, because we joke with a straight face. If I am not careful, my sense of humor can be quite cruel, because I use true, concrete facts about something at just the right moment to bring out the irony in it. If people are particularly attached to that thing, they may get offended on its behalf. Lots of times I am rather fond of the things I make fun of myself, and I like jokes that relate to the things I am familiar with and understand the most, since I can see the irony from the most angles with the data I have internally gathered that relates to said topic, so I do not necessarily see this as offensive, but the more sensitive types take it quite personally sometimes. 

Pretty much, don't take ISTJs personally. They don't mean it that way. If an ISTJ actually voices one of these snarky comments at your expense it is because they like you enough to have gathered a significant amount of data on you, and devoted time and thought to organizing that data into the perfectly timed jab. Be flattered. 

The one trait I would prefer to change is my general insensitivity. Sometimes this is nice, since I take criticism well, and am capable of providing criticism clearly and objectively. Errors jump out at me, so I see them quickly as well. However, this creates difficulty in relating to people, providing support and comfort, and being enthusiastic about things that are not extremely high quality and practically useful.

Sorry that was so long, but hopefully this post will clear some things up about the ISTJ personality for you. It is a common personality, and is generally uncommunicative of its own feelings and thought processes, so a lot of misconceptions have been formed considering the exact amount of boring and lack of emotion in the ISTJ.

Finally, I have taken this test in about a dozen different websites, and read the information provided on my personality on each to develop an idea of the general consensus on ISTJs, as well as to get some different perspectives on the issue. https://www.16personalities.com is one that seems fairly mainstream and accurate. 

The two people I am going to tag are: 

Madi Hageman at Once Lost now Found

Sharon Small at The Smallest Small

Field Trip!

Some days ago, it was brought to my attention, that one of our Illustrious Cousins (Oliver, age 10) had a desire to visit a used bookstore. Since this is an inclination to be encouraged, I made it a point to take him as soon as possible. 

Thus, on Tuesday, we found ourselves in the Tacoma Book Center, the largest used bookstore in Washington. More than 500,000 books line the shelves, stretching to the ceiling, and in every direction. I know what genres I like, so I spent the majority of my time in children's literature and military history, but we did make sure to go into each room. Oliver picked out a couple books, and I came home with a stack as well: 

(Ignore the top three; I acquired those elsewhere, but didn't want to bother with taking another picture.)

Since the titles are probably a bit hard to read sideways (and because I want to talk about my new books more...), here they are in list format:

1. Three Doctor Doolittle books (The Voyages, The Green Canary, and Doctor Doolittle's Garden.)

2. The Reluctant Dragon—this is not a whole book, but a short story by Kenneth Grahame in Dream Days. I picked up this version because it's illustrated by Ernest H. Shepard! Those of you who know my fascination with Winnie-The-Pooh will understand.

3. The Way of the Scarlet Pimpernel, first edition, because of the coolness factor. As if I needed to be more of a book snob...I half wish I was still blissfully unaware of there being such a thing as a first edition. 

4. Captain Blood, my favorite Rafael Sabatini book. There were several Sabatini titles there that I wanted to pick up, but this was at the top of my list, and I was running out of cash...

5. Deep Down, Red Rooney, and The Giant of the North, by R.M. Ballantyne. I've often lamented the fact that while G.A. Henty can be easily found in various hard back and paper back editions, Ballantyne is almost entirely out of print. I was delighted to find these, and would have bought all the Ballantyne titles they had, if my budget had allowed it. 

Well, those are the books I got for myself. I also got Oliver a pictorial encyclopedia of WWII Combat Planes, since we share a fascination with WWII plans. Really cool, with detailed diagrams. 

The best find, though, was something I picked out for our younger kids: two short stories by A. A. Milne which I had never seen or heard of before!! "Prince Rabbit" and "The Princess Who Could not Laugh". For a serious Milne aficionado, this was a stupendous discovery. As with anything written by Milne, they are hilarious.

Most of the books I got this time I've read already and plan to read again, since I'm trying to build up my library with books worth re-reading. Have you read any of these? and if not, what in the world? Get to it!

Found...

This week I have an office job. For three days, the heavy weight of church secretarial responsibility rests on my shoulders. What, one might enquire, does this position entail? Well, the first thing I did was pick up the sanctuary, and I was amused at what I found:

• One paper airplane
• The usual assortment of left-over bulletins and candy wrappers 
• One pen
• Several broken crayons
• A bottle of hand sanitizer
• Three CDs
• A quarter (Assuming someone intended it for tithe, I slipped it into the safe.)
• Four communion cups (empty, thankfully)
• Two and a half erasers
• A Starbucks lid stopper
• A matchbox car
• A big yellow rubber band
• No less than TWENTY-NINE pencils
• Three lego men, missing on average one arm each
• A crochet hook

Now, I just have to figure out what to do with this odd assortment of items...

Tune in next week for more office fun!
(Well, actually not, since I'm only doing this for one week. Sorry.)

An Interesting Development

Possibly I ought to have mentioned this sooner, but I'm getting married in a few months. Now you know. For details, pictures and/or squealing, try my sister's blog: Rebekah's Remarks

Actually, *cough* I'm quite excited to be transitioning from preparing for the ultimate career to practicing the ultimate career. I'll be busy for the next few months, but I do have a few blog post ideas up my sleeve, to be drawn out with a flourish every so often. ttfn!

Before Winter: Chapter 32

Thirty-Two: Conclusion

“Ker-choo.” Timothy sniffed. “Excuse me. I caught a bad cold on the ship.” He sneezed again.

Luke smiled. “Paul is anxious to see you. He had almost given up hope, thinking you had been delayed on the road until it was too late.”

“What could keep me from coming, when he asked me? I only wish I could have brought Mark with me all the way.”

“Where is Mark?” Luke asked, as they turned into the courtyard of the house where Paul was kept under arrest.

Timothy began to reply, but he was cut short by a crisp command.

“Halt!” The guard at the front of the house stepped in front of them, extending his hand. “Sir, I must examine that package before you take it inside.”

Timothy held it out.

The guard shuffled the papers, glancing over each page, and handed it back to him. “Here you are.” He waved Luke through without searching him, nodding in silent greeting.

“The guards fall under Paul’s spell here, as they do everywhere, I see.” Timothy chuckled, and Luke smiled in response.

“Not all of them. He has such a way with people. They either detest him, or they would go through fire and water for him. No middle ground!”

Timothy laughed in agreement. Together, they passed through the doorway, and down a passage. Luke lead the way, taking the turns in the manner of a man who has made them many times, until they reached Paul’s room.

A crackling fire burned in the hearth, and Paul was sitting by it, writing, when they came in. He rose to meet them, coming forward and embracing Timothy warmly.

“My friend, I knew you would come.” Stepping back, he looked at Timothy critically. “You are older.”

“So are you.” Timothy smiled crookedly. It was good to see his friend, after such a long time, but he could not trust himself to say anything else. Luke had told him that the order for his execution had actually passed already, and was only waiting on the Emperor’s word to be carried out. He had almost been too late after all.

Swallowing hard, Timothy composed himself. “Here,” he took the package from underneath his arm and held it out. “From Carpas. The books and parchments. Your cloak I am afraid I had to leave at Philippi, in rather bad shape.”

Paul took the bundle from him absently, looking behind him to the door. “But where is Mark? You brought him, of course? I have much for him to do.”

“He started out with me, and greatly wished to see you, but like the cloak, I was forced to leave him in Philippi, also in bad shape.”

“What is all this about Philippi?” Paul asked. “What were you doing there? And what did you do to Mark, and my cloak?”

“Well,” Timothy glanced at Luke, whose face reflected the same question, “it is a long story.”

“Sit, then.” Paul motioned to a chair by the fire. He sat back down behind his desk, resting his elbows on its surface, and gazing at Timothy intently as he sank down into a chair. “Now. Tell me all about it.”

THE END

Postscript.

In every book of historical fiction, the author must decide what to include and what to leave out. What is fact, and what is fiction? What about the material that is somewhere in-between—the things that could be true, but we have no way of being sure? Here is the explanation of a few major aspects of the story, for those who are interested.

The characters:

There is very little information about John Mark and Alexander the Coppersmith in the Biblical text, so I have made up most of their personalities to fit the story I am telling. About Timothy we know a little more, and I tried to keep his character consistent with what we know from his travels with Paul. Most of the minor characters are entirely fictional, though a few names are drawn from those mentioned in the Bible.

The plot:

We know from 2 Timothy that Paul did ask Timothy to come to Rome, and to bring Mark. The Bible never tells us whether or not Timothy made it in time to meet Paul before his execution, though we know from what Acts relates of Paul’s travels that such a journey would be fraught with difficulty and danger. This book is one possible way to end Paul and Timothy’s story. The New Testament and Old Testament are full of examples of forgiveness and redemption, and it seemed to be an appropriate theme for Timothy and John Mark to explore, from their different points of view.

The setting:

The first century is far removed from our own daily experience. Until I started writing, I had no idea how little I knew about the Hellenistic culture surrounding the spread of Christianity. I have done my best to be accurate to the period, researching what life was like, what they wore, how they would have traveled and acted.

Dates: It is hard to know exactly when Paul wrote 2nd Timothy, and when he was executed. I have gone with one tradition, and set the action in 66-67 AD, but other options may be equally valid. However, since at this period of history the characters were not using the BC/AD system, I chose to have them count from Jesus’ resurrection in 33 AD. Thus, Mark records 66 AD as “the thirty-third year since the resurrection of our Lord”. References to past events I have tried to keep within the frame of possible dates, picking specific time-frames (such as the length of time Timothy spent in Ephesus) for the purposes of continuity in the story, feeling that if I left everything vague it would be too confusing for the reader.

Before Winter: Chapter 31

Thirty-One: Aftermath

“Ker-choo.”

Timothy’s eyes opened, and he sat up, sneezing again. He felt terrible. His eyes itched, his muscles ached, and his head felt like it was swollen to double its usual size. Blinking, he looked around, though the motion made his head throb.

He was back in his own cabin. Someone had brought in a lantern and hung it from the ceiling, from which position it shed light around the room. The first thing he noticed was his tunic, draped over the back of a chair. Then his eyes were caught by a square package, sitting on the little table where he was used to sit and write.

Wondering, he rose stiffly to his feet and bent over it. He folded back the linen wrappings, and found himself staring at the books and parchments he had lost weeks ago, in Troas. Paul’s familiar handwriting, the scrolls, it was all there. Puzzled, his eyes roved around the tiny space of the cabin, as if seeking an answer to the mystery somewhere in the room.

He was still standing there, with the parchments in front of him, when a knock sounded on the door.

“Come in.”

In response to his call, the ship’s mate stepped into the room.

“Is the storm over?” As he asked, he realized that it must be. Their motion was no longer that of a ship riding at anchor, whipped in every direction by a gale, but the steady, purposeful movement that meant they were running before a fair, brisk wind.

“Yes, sir. It blew itself out early this morning. A good thing for us, too. Much more strain on our anchor-cable and we would have been on the rocks.”

“How is…” Timothy hesitated, “how is the sailor who fell into the sea?”

The mate frowned. “Don’t know. He’s gone.”

“Gone?” Timothy was startled. “What do you mean?”

“Looks like he stole one of our boats, while the storm was still raging, and tried to row to shore.” The mate shrugged. “Out of his head, probably. It was a crazy thing to do. Captain sent me to make sure you were still here, at least.”

“Well, I’m here.” Timothy hardly knew what he was saying, as he thought over this new intelligence. Why would Alexander flee the ship? Had he been the one to bring the parchments back? Then that was what he had seen under Alexander’s arm, back in Troas. Did this mean he had repented?

The mate was speaking again, hoping he would feel better soon, taking leave of him. Timothy heard him in a daze, watched the door shut behind him, and sat down heavily on his chair, leaning back against his tunic. It was still damp from the soaking it had received just a few hours ago.

For the first time, he prayed for Alexander in earnest, with no anger or reservation in his heart. In that moment before he decided to attempt to rescue the coppersmith, he had seen his own inner sin, just as terrible as Alexander’s outward sin, and had truly repented of it. Lord, let him be alive. Take away his anger, as you have taken away mine. Show him Your truth, and give him Your peace. Let him too see that You can always forgive.

He prayed for several minutes, feeling an incredible closeness of fellowship with the Lord. At last he rose, tears still wet on his cheeks, and pulled on his tunic. Folding the linen back over the parchment, he tucked the package into a safe corner. Turning to go on deck, his hand was on the door when he remembered one last thing.

Dropping to his knees, he groped under the bed with one hand until his fingers closed on his pen. He pulled it out, and set it on the table, ready for his return. Then he walked out the room.