Large Family Idiosyncrasies: Counting Noses

Idiosyncrasy #2: The Seat Belt Check

"Seat belts!" Dad (or Mom) calls from the front of the van.

"Andrew's seat belt on."
"Sarah's seat belt on."
"Margaret's seat belt on."
"Rebekah's seat belt on."
"Maxwell's seat belt on."
"David's seat belt on."
"Tabitha's seat belt on."
"Marta's seat belt on."
"William's seat belt on."
"Samuel's seat belt on."

*slight pause*
"Is Samuel's seat belt really on?"
(quick visual check) "Yes!"
"Do the little boys have shoes on?"
"Yes."
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This is our ritual every time we go somewhere in our big white van. It's different now, of course, with the two top names dropped off, but I'm sure they still run through the rest of this procedure. (Right, Mom?) The "seat belt check", as we call it, accomplishes several objectives in a short time:

1. It ensures that everyone in the van is wearing their seat belt. (As you would guess.)

2. It also ensures that everyone who is supposed to be in the van is, indeed, in the van. If there is a gap in the list of names, the only proper way to proceed is after Mom or Dad have verified, "Maxwell is not here," which means that person has leave to be absent. Otherwise, we stop until we have located the missing person and they are buckled into their seat.

This second objective is just one part of a larger group of big family idiosyncrasies, which all revolve around not losing children. I may mention some of the other ways we accomplish this in future posts.

3. It functions as the last call for "going ashore", ie. friends and relations that are not supposed to be in the van have to get out.

4. It is an exercise in cooperation.

Siblings may not say their own seat belt is on until the person just before them has said it. Siblings may not poke other siblings to get them to say their seat belt is on faster, nor may they say someone else's seat belt for them, unless they have parental permission (as in the case of a buddy who is too young to talk.) You may not yell or whisper that your seat belt is on, but must say it clearly enough to be heard all the way in the front of the van. It is amazing how much these few, reasonable rules bring out sin nature that needs to be addressed.

5. It is useful to tack things on to. Remember the end of the ritual? What do the little boys' shoes have to do with seat belts? Well, I invented that bit a couple years ago, because during the summer they were constantly getting to church with no shoes on, despite our clear rules to the contrary. Because the seat belt check is always the same, and already in place, it was easier to remember to check the boys' shoes if I just tacked it on the end of that. Other inquiries could also be tacked onto the seat belt check as needed, such as "Do you all have coats on?" or "Does anyone need coffee?"

Another added benefit to this system is the fact that it always amuses guests who ride in our van. We had one Japanese exchange student who would take a video recording every time we went through it. Funny it may seem, but it is a very useful habit, that should be more widely adopted.